What's Creepier Than a Politician?

You guessed it.  A creepy politician's creepy white van. 

Who is this Lina Ortega and what office is she running for you ask?  Beats me.

This is what I know:  Ms. Ortega is a Democrat, she is creepy, and she likes to paint creepy things on vans.  Furthermore, judging from the make/model/shared ad space on her Dodge, she is so creepy that it hurts her ability to fundraise.  How does this woman expect anyone to take her or her candidacy seriously when she's driving around town creeping out all of her would be constituents? 

Caution Children: Creepy Ice Cream Van

You know those Caution Children signs that are usually displayed on the back of Ice Cream Vans?  This saying took on a whole different and creepy meaning when I spotted this van driving through the streets of my mother's neighborhood.

Note the little girl in the picture. Her body language says so much.  If this van were not the creepiest thing she had ever seen in her short life, she would be running towards the ice cream van.  Instead, what is she doing? She's standing firm and covering her ears so as to drown out its haunting tune. 

This Nacho Van

What differentiates a Creepy Van from your run-of-the-mill sketchy Astro Minivan? The answer is more complicated than one would think.  There are several factors that catapult vans into the elusive creepy category.  The obvious being creepy owners, sheets for curtains, parking said van in a parking lot next to a schoolyard full of playing children, missing hubcaps, dreamcatchers.  However, while these qualities assist one in identifying which vans not to park next to on a dark night, they are not always foolproof.  This is why I have taken it upon myself to document the truly remarkable creepy vans that I come across while going about my daily business.  That and because spotting a van (hopefully from a distance) that disturbs your being can be quite a rush. 

Take for instance - Van: Nacho & Son.  I spotted this beauty in El Paso, Texas while driving through the central side of town.  Although the busted front tire and graffiti markings make it appear to be undriveable, do not be fooled.  This van is creepy.  What makes it even creepier is that the owner is apparently a businessperson named Nacho.  The logo emblazoned on his van makes it clear that Mr. Nacho is very proud of the fact that he has a "son."  However, if he is proud enough to name his business Nacho & Son, why not specify the son's name?  Would it have been less creepy if the van's logo read "Nacho & My Son Nachito?" Is it perhaps because there is no Nachito and this name and van is merely a ploy by Mr. Nacho to make himself appear less creepy to those he offers his services and/or rides to? Likely.