Flower Children Don't Drive Creepy Vans.

Contrary to popular opinion, there are only two types of hippies: happy hippies that love trees and creepy hippies that hate bathing.  

The two groups are often times mistaken for one another and it is understandable to see why.  Both breeds favor communal living arrangements, free love as opposed to costly love, and making said love over making hateful war.  But the key similarity that they share is their affinity for grooving around town in a legit Volkswagen Type 2 Hippie Van. 

Many of you are wondering how I know so much about the hippies.  The answer is one-fold, I live in California.  However, my residency here is recent and up until my arrival a few months ago, I was under the false impression that creepy hippie vans would be lining every single street in CA.  This assessment is inaccurate largely because not all hippie vans are creepy vans.
  
For example, note the following VW van that I found on a hippie website.  It just isn't creepy.  In fact, it kind of makes you smile. 

Now compare it to this VW creepy van that I saw at the beach:

It is the embodiment of creepy.  Furthermore, I can say with certainty that creepy hippies live in it because I saw them and they scared me.  Why did they scare me? Because it was at the exact moment that they noticed me noticing them that I recalled that Charles Manson was also a California hippie.  The breed of hippie known for driving this type of creepy van.